Last night, David Hasselhoff checked himself into the hospital after a night of binge drinking and partying with large breasted women. By the end of the night, Hasselhoff had ripped his shirt off screaming, “I can save anybody from drowning! Where did I park the Delorian!?” Which was awkward because in Knight Rider he drove a Pontiac Trans-Am named ‘Kit.’ Friends suggested Hasselhoff see a doctor when he attempted to run through the bar in slow motion. Doctors later explained Hasselhoff had been poisoned by alcohol–not awesomeness.