David Copperfield: magically arrested!

Real handcuffs make escape more difficult

 

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David Copperfield is being investigated by authorities for what was at first an unknown crime. Officer Mike McClure and his team raided a warehouse in Las Vegas owned by Copperfield. There they confiscated a computer hard drive, a digital camera system, and $2 million in cash. The press was not allowed on the scene, however, we have for you a transcribed version of the recording from the police radio:

Officer McClure: This has gone on long enough. We should have known better than to trust a musician!

Copperfield:Musician!? I’m no musician. I’m David Copperfield, Las Vegas’ most famous drug dealer–No! Magician! I’m a magician!

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183 responses to “David Copperfield: magically arrested!

  1. Somehow Copperfield managed to ‘magic’ himself back from the dead…and ‘magic’ himself a plastic surgeon to help him ‘magically’ look suspiciously like a Ken doll. Hmmm. I think that it is really Satan all dolled up like David so he can ‘magically’ take over the world…he ‘magic’d’ his soul to the Devil!!

  2. Here come the jokes…

  3. David Copperfield didn’t do anything. What reason is there for him to do anything wrong. Anyone who thinks he did it, well then prove it. AND HES NO DEVIL SO FORGET I NIKKI, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM……NOTHING! ARE YOU A MAGICIAN!? PROBABLY NOT, BUT I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Man crush much Nick? David Cop-a-feel has impregnated your mind with idiocy? Having a Harry Potter wand doesn’t make you a magician.

  5. Ryan~
    I am above your elementary insults!!! Get a job instead of talking to 13 year olds who do magic shows at schools!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET A LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Nick, Nick, Nick…

    I am not a ‘magician’ because everyone knows they aren’t real. I am, however, a socerer!! My favorite thing to do is dress up in my awsome capes and robes and tote my staff and mighty wand out on the town. I have a very active social life, what with all the D and D partys I host. I am now in awe of you, oh mighty magician Nick. Will you help me in my quest to find the ring??!

  7. Nikki`
    Wow you need to get a life. Go find the ring with your imagenary friend. You are not important so I will make you disappear. One, two, three your gone!!!!!!!!

  8. All of this magic talk will cease or I shall turn you all to monkeys. Except for you, Nick, since you are clearly already an ape.

  9. Nick speaks of a revolution!!!!!!!!!

  10. Nikki and Merlin and Ryan are do do eaters who have no life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Nick is the almighty magician

  12. Merlin is a piece of dokey get a life merlin

  13. Dnt worry Nick i got your back

  14. Nick if you dont know who i am i’ll give you a hint i go to your school and i mostly do flag with you.
    Still dont know i ask funny questions in miss l’s class.
    PS Merlin is DO DO

  15. Nick, I think it best if you leave on a journey far far away from your current state. It appears you have a stalker that will probably force a ring on your finger and forever alter you lifestyle.

  16. shut up Gandolf i will do do on you

  17. leave my child alone

  18. Gandolf you probably live in your moms basement with your gay boyfriend playing pokemon

    so you shouldent be talking

  19. is that you rob

  20. I’ll come to your house and roundhouse kick you to the face…

  21. yeah it is

  22. ys this is rob

  23. rob where you jeaus

  24. rob read my stuff above

  25. gay bf playing pokemon, LOL

  26. merlin is super gay

  27. no kidding

  28. dude call me

  29. Nick, elementary? That was at least a middle school insult. Oh, if you did not notice some dookie lovin flag girl stalker has yo back.

  30. channing wrote a sign that reAD “jAGER IS MY BEST FRIEND” IN RETURN FOR THIS WEBSITE SO HE WROTE IT AND I TOOK IT. HE DOESNT HAVE THE WEBSITE

  31. ryan is do do

  32. get a life man

  33. PEACE MY CHIDREN

  34. CAN I CALL U, DODO

  35. yo i got to go see ya rob
    tell nick to raed the stuff above

    PS ryan is do do
    Merlin is do do
    And
    Nikki is do do

  36. rob are you jeaus

  37. IS IT ALL RIGHT IF I CALL YOU AT YOUR HOUSE, DODO

  38. Nick where are you

  39. Are you there ryan

  40. nick r uthere
    merlin is gayyy!!!! gayer than ricky

  41. u guys are fags
    except nick chuck norris dodo and rob

  42. dodo r u there

  43. dodo, call when u go on

  44. lakitchensink

    Dear dodo, frodo, rob, jesus, and chuck norris:

    Enlightenment of a technological age.

  45. Nick, Chuck, Dodo, Rob and Jesus are losers. Your mommies must not allow you to get email accounts – boo-hoo. Have fun when you all get together and circle jerk at your Lord of the Rings party.

    I know all. Jesus I disown you.

  46. How did you know I live in my mom’s basement??…’can I call you’, or ‘can I call you at HOME’ uhhhhhh, you are totally still living UPstairs in your momma’s house so in your FACE!!! So what if you can’t spell dookie or doo-doo and you seem to be obsessed with poo and your school friends…maybe you should wipe your ass, get off your mamma’s toilet and get over it!
    Plus, I’m totally moving out next month….

  47. Merlin is the almighty wizzard/magician that all you middle school, shat obsessed, fart knockers wish you could be!!

  48. rob are you there

  49. shut up merlin your gay

  50. god~

    Get a life your dodo

  51. sup nick

  52. don’t make fun of dodo

  53. sup senior

  54. Ryan’s d and d partys stand for do do
    ryan get a girl friend get job and most importantly get a life.
    P.S. im a due unlike your girl friend if you have one .
    and for your informaton i have to do my own email account

  55. gandolf is a gay dude who has no life and plays boardgames with his mommy

  56. i agree

  57. god eats dodo

  58. lakitchensink

    don’t forget nick

  59. wat does that mean

  60. ryan is a do do lovin freak whos best friend is mrlin
    good luck your pokemon guys
    Do Do out

  61. nick, chuck norris, and dodo are going to make all you babies who play pokemon disappear poof your dodo your gone

  62. wat about senor

  63. Do Do makes a lot of sense not nick is weird
    I know who you are
    im the one with Mary Kate
    O yeah

  64. David Copperfield

    i don’t like this garbage. magic is real. all these pokemon sorcerers eat dodo

  65. dodo are you in the bathroom

  66. David Copperfield

    hi dodo

  67. David Copperfield

    rock paper scissors, DODO!!!

  68. david copperfield don’t rape me

  69. Ryan shut up how do we know you like girls ooooooooooooooooooo played
    PS. I will do do on you
    Peace

  70. david copperfield is inocent

  71. anyone who makes fun of me is dodo and there mom is calling them for lunch

  72. Ryan you are the bigest pice of do do i’ve ever not seen
    so shut up

    play your pokemon
    P.S never say any thing about her again orelse
    PPS stay away from little kids

  73. merlin is the gayest man on the face of this earth get a life out of your moms basement

  74. David Copperfield

    TOO LATE

  75. nikki where are yoooooooooooooooou?

  76. WaZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Upppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  77. whos ryan?????

  78. shut up ryan your still in preschool and no one cares about the dirferences of elementary and middle school cause some schools are both your do do and i confirm you do do

  79. ryan is do do

  80. senor gte a life

  81. i know who ryan is rooooooooob

  82. you’ll never know who I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  83. I’M BACK

  84. This is by far the strangest thing I’ve ever seen on my site. I and write a lot of strange things. But you guys make me laugh.

  85. But you all are seriously high school nerds. At best. Are you guys seriouly flag twirlers?

  86. Most definintly flag twirlers…I am thinking that they don’t have their own computers (or their mommy’s put them on lock down for looking at porn) – hence the reason they have to sneak to the school library and fire off a million unwitty comments in like 2 minutes. Come on! Doo doo -I’m over you. Get your game face on and go on some other articles!

  87. Ain’t nothing like the real thing.

    You guys are little homophobic bastards who are secretly gay for each other.

    OR WORSE!

    Your dookie lovin child molesters.

  88. all you shut your mouths and kiss your mommies

  89. nikki can you write anything longer your a nerd

    but I can’t really talk.

    No really. I can’t. My mouth is full of my dad’s balls.

  90. nikki your messages are the stupidest things ever

    … much like my face.

  91. Ryan those harry potter wands could turn you to doo doo if you weren’t already the most kick ass dude alive. I love you. Will you write my books for me?

  92. ryan i have never read any harry potter book and have no freaken magic wand i have magic powers that can turn you to dust. WHERE IS DO DO and Rob …probably fucking my mom like normal. God, i really hate that. Except when they let me watch the video afterwards.

  93. ryan your bath is already and i bought you a new bottle of Mr. Bubbles.

  94. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  95. So your back huh

  96. how was your bubble bath ryan?

    no seriously. don’t leave out any details. especially the dirty ones.

  97. It was awsome, your mom and I had a great time. She’s such a dirty little tramp. You can call me daddy, your mom does.

  98. Ill write any book but stop making fun about my magical wands they will hurt you if you don’t

  99. You saw my penis?? David Copperfield can’t even do that. It’s too small.

  100. u guys are really stupid

  101. Come on do do and chuck norris where are you?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

  102. sup nick

  103. Get a life jackie chan

  104. its channing

  105. who ever is trying to be nick you can’t no one is that lame. plus your wrong i am not gay so why would david copperfield be looking. Okay okay. He doesn’t look because he is ashamed. I don’t know why. I never feel guilty after we screw.

  106. CHANNING how the hell did you know wheres dodo and rob

  107. channing i think these guys want to be me there signing on as me will you come fuck me later?

  108. I mean I am transvestite who whores himself to men but I’m not gay.

  109. Yooooo shut your gay mouth im as straight as a line. and i do love me some taint.

  110. ….line of cocaine in a gay bar

  111. ballzzzzz in my face… ballllzzz in my face… yeah yeah yeah yeah love me some ballzzz in my faaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaace.

  112. your the one on crack your as straight asa circle. So shut up

  113. your the one on crack your as straight asa circle. So shut up

    SHUT UP! ALL OF THE VOICES!!

  114. lets all live in peace lets lk about the bible

  115. its rob… I JUST finished up with your mom. wanna come watch the video?

  116. Nick the real one

    this other nick come on as a different name your making this all messed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i’ve gone a little nuts. will you still be my friend?

  117. Nick the real one

    RRRROOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB did you read my gay messages

  118. Rob just did nick’s mom show your face

  119. Nick the real one

    Of course ill be your friend for life

  120. Nick the real one

    This chan is stupid

  121. The Gay Pride Brigade lead by nick

    Nick, we would like to invite you to become our charter member since you are clearly the proudest gay man in America. Good for you!! Remember be loud, be proud and get use to balls in yo face.

    love nick (super-president)

  122. Nick…Your mom gave Rob herpes. That’s messed up

  123. Nick the real one

    I love satan.

  124. Nick the real one

    The Gay Pride Brigade im not gay your the leader i shall not follow thy gay leaders
    (nick 12:23)

  125. wat

    fuck you nick! satan is bad, ok? but if you’re down with him, i guess you can blow me. at color guard practice.

  126. Wow. Nick, I am really disappointed with your Oedipus complex (look it up when you go to the school library tomorrow)….aren’t you going to YouTube your mom and your friends?

  127. Nick the original

    yo stop trying to be me i know you want to be straight like me but it takes time. But not to get inside of my b/c my butt hole is so loose. You could practically fall right in.

  128. nick if you r there, reply our secret word (it starts with an d)

    deeeeeeezzzzzzz nuuuuuutttttttsssss

  129. curse u nikki

  130. Nick the original

    nikki my daddy is ready (to) go upstairs.

    ……………..if i pay you $1000 will you blow him. he hasn’t had a blowjob since he and my mom conceived me.

  131. Clearly you have been practicing really hard at flag practice how ‘not’ to be gay. Ya’ll sure do bring up the gay subject quite a bit. Is this a self awareness journey that you are dragging us all on??

  132. Nick the original

    rob we have no secret word

    (deeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttzzzzzzzzzz in my mouth)

  133. Nick the original

    Nikki your so right you must be a magician

  134. i am gay come back to me nikki

  135. ding dong

  136. i am in love with nikki she sounds very hot.

    …… if only i liked women.

  137. who here likes that nick kid? okay now who likes me? does anyone like doo doo

  138. rob the hott one

    u bet

  139. rob the hott one

    mike?

    do you think it’s cool i spelled hott with 2 t’s??

  140. Nick the original

    rob you are gay your boyfriends are waiting

    but you can have me while you wait……………………………………………

  141. Nick the original

    stop being more awesome than me!!!!!!!!!!

  142. rob the hott one

    david copperfield
    is doodooo

  143. rob the hott one

    nick it is really is swear to god rob in ur class. i lm fat and hott.

    ……. remember??? we went to flag twirling practice together yesterday!!!!!! And I was out of breath after a few twirls. remember!!!!

  144. Nick the original

    david copperfield could turn you to doodoo

  145. Nick the original

    nice comesack wait what comesack?

    ………..oh yeah. the one in my mouth!

  146. Who wants to ………… me im free tonight

  147. i do i do i do come on please

  148. Nick the original

    dude your not funny get a life

  149. Nick … I can tell just from reading that you have a small cock.

  150. nick, i saw your masturbating to rob’s yearbook picture. don’t do that if you want to get into heaven.

  151. Nikki stop lying and nick remove yourself from this hate

  152. yeah, i saw nick with the yearbook too. no Power Ranger toys for him this year.

  153. rob’s not gay but i am

  154. Damn, yall!! I step away for 2 seconds and you gotta try to be me. You all suck at it by the way. However, Rob, I am super hott, not free and also saw Nick masturbating to animal porn so I’m pretty sure he is going to burn in the fiery gates of hell.

  155. Hanakka Harry

    Nooooo dredle for you, nasty little boy.

  156. u guys are big faggots u suc dick at being nick rob and jesus go fuck urselves

  157. yo rob

  158. r u jasper????????

  159. lakitchensink

    Holy wow. I’m so confused as to what happened here. Who are you people? And why are you all making fun of yourselves? None of this makes any sense.

  160. holy crap!!!!!!!!!!

  161. I am a giant man-whore.

  162. haha. yeah i am. i said that right.

  163. i am the best and i and peter

  164. i am the best out of all of u and i kill i kill

  165. Boo Boo scares me….

  166. britney spears

    hey nick

  167. britney

  168. whos nick?

  169. britney spears

    hey misty

  170. britney hello?

  171. britney spears

    i dont know

  172. i lone your music can i get a autograph

  173. britney spears

    maybe later

  174. love your music

  175. You know who I just about slept with last night? Nick.

  176. britney spears

    No??? Was his dick as small as I’ve heard?

  177. Even smaller than Robs! Can you believe that????