Ryan Gosling, no. Mark Wahlberg, yes. Peter Jackson, feels the vibration

Jackson wants to (lovely) bone Wahlberg

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Reportedly, Peter Jackson has dropped Ryan Gosling from the movie The Lovely Bones.  Rumor has it that he was tossed from the picture because he gained too much weight, which he thought would help him portray the grieving father.  Jackson, who is a model of peak human physical condition, decided to hand the role over to former Calvin Kline underwear model Mark Wahlberg.  Jackson commented on his decision earlier today:  “I decided that the movie needed someone who could tackle the emotional aspects of the film as well as the stunts and action.”  One reporter mentioned the fact that The Lovely Bones is a tender-hearted drama about the murder of a young girl and wouldn’t require action or stunts.  To which Jackson replied, “Yes.  This is true.  But we’ve decided to go in another direction.  In our movie, the father will grieve at first, but then fight his way through the gates of Heaven and face ghastly CGI angels with broad swords.  Now, could that fatty Ryan Gosling do that?  I think no.  I told him to go make The Notebook 2. Sissy.”

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One response to “Ryan Gosling, no. Mark Wahlberg, yes. Peter Jackson, feels the vibration

  1. Why don’t they all stand around in a ‘funky bunch’ and make up?

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