While the world explodes over Jamie Lynn Spears’ reported pregnancy, Lights Camera Caption has received exclusive information on the pregnancy scandal. The 16-year-old Zoey 101 star is not acutally pregnant. A phone message from Britney Spears to her younger sister was stumbled upon thanks to an illegal phone tapping and a little bribe money [all falling within normal work practices for the FBI].
Jamie Lynn and Britney have conspired to steal back Britney’s children from Kevin Federline. Through an experimental operation, Britney has arranged for Jamie Lynn to smuggle Sean Preston and Jayden James via her own vajayjay. They’re calling it reverse birth. Sort of like breast implants but much more natural! But unfortunately much less sexy.