Tag Archives: satire

Aaron Carter Jailed In Texas After Drug Arrest

Confusion Leads to Incarceration.   

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Carter was arrested and jailed Thursday for marijuana possession after being pulled over for a routine speeding violation.  The arresting officer said he probably would have let him go with a warning had Carter not been sporting a chin-pussy and a mullet.

 Read more surprising drug arrests:  Amy Winehouse

Paris Hilton’s New Show: “The Philanthropist”

She has much to offer starving children

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In November, Paris Hilton will be leaving the country.  But don’t get your celebrity-obsessed panties in a wad just yet, the camera crews are following her around.  Again.  Paris tells the press that she is a new woman after her life changing stint in jail and wants to give back by spending time in Rwanda.  The reality show chronicling her journey through Africa is tentatively titled “The Philanthropist.”  In other news, God is laughing from on high.

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Read more about irony:  Girls Gone Wild is sexist

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Britney Spears Wants The Spice Girls

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The new Spice Girls album will not be available through traditional retail outlets.  If you want to get your hands on their new release, you’ll have to go shopping at your local Vicoria’s Secret.  This sends a clear message to the public about who the Spice Girls’ target demographic is and is not.  Clearly they aren’t expecting men or Britney Spears to buy their album since neither wears women’s underwear.  Ever.

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Read more about: The Spice Girls’ New “Spice Nicknames

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Look At Beyonce’s Boobs

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Which of these two boobs is the best?  Is one bigger than the other?  Is one more prone to cancer than the other?  Which one does Jay-Z like better?  If one slips out, will we have six more weeks of winter?  Wait, that one doesn’t fit the ironic innuendo at all.

Read more about these two boobs:  Kanye West and 50 Cent 

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Nelly Furtado Has Blonde Hair (why)

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Alicia: I’ve always wanted to meet you, Paris Hilton.

Nelly: I’m not Paris Hilton. Don’t you know me… maybe this will help. I’m like a biiird, I’ll only fly aw–

Alicia: Stop that, Paris Hilton! Damn. Maybe you should use that supercomputer on your wrist to time travel and rethink that song. And that wig.

Read more about another sexy blonde: Chris Crocker

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TI Arrested. No Machine Guns For You.

 

 

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Rapper TI was arrested yesterday after authorities traced a large purchase of machine guns back to the previously convicted felon. The middle man in the picture, TI’s bodyguard, turned on his boss and cooperated with the police which led to yesterday’s arrest. That bodyguard is expected to be dead within 48 hours.

In other news, TI took home two awards at the 2007 BET Awards! One for best rap album and one for most likely to shoot up your m— f—- block.

Read more about criminals: Miley Cyrus?

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Pink Eye For Diddy

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Unfortunately, a pink eye epidemic starting with the Spears family has spread throughout Hollywood. Diddy’s clan, seen here hiding their pussing eyes with especially hip aviators, were all on the pink-eye train except for Kim Porter because she is only famous for making Diddy babies and pink eye did not care about her at all.

Read more about infectious diseases: Kevin Federline

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